So... now what???!!!!

When I was younger I've heard a lot of stuff about it...
I lived lot of problems...
And I saw how they weren't resolve and some of them were forgotten by a part...
and just hiden by the other part...
I've never understood why was all that about...
and why was it so hard for them...

So, what they say about... you will never understand until you live it...
it's completly true...
because now... I'm living it!!
ujuuu congrats!!¬¬ sarcastic mode of course...
And I'm not glad to say that now I'm the one who hide all of it...
But sometimes it makes me want to just
dissappear....
because I can't handle it...
and when I try to talk about everything that I can't handle...
I'm not even being listened!!!!!

It's so frustrating...
I remember something that I've heard in some movie...
"Finally all that you try to get is a good friendship"
but now I wonder... how am I gonna get a good friendship
if everything is so wrong???

Sometimes I wish I can go back in time...
to take better decitions...
and to take the time for everything...
because you always need time!
the decitions that you take running...
aren't always the best!!!!
And I can't avoid wondering the famous
"what if I..."

And those are the kind of things that only live in my mind....
my little and private own world...